Mark Twain & newspapers

Mark Twain said, "If you don't read a newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do, you are misinformed."

Prince Philip

Prince Philip would frequently arrive for breakfast, pick up the morning papers with a sigh and say, “Let’s see what I’m supposed to have done wrong yesterday.”

Sodom

"Half of American high-school seniors surveyed recently thought Sodom and Gomorrah were a married couple." — The National Post

Anglicans

"...the dissatisfied Anglican leaves because his Church ain't what she used to be. The dissatisfied Catholic leaves his Church because she is." — Diogenes

Maureen Dowd

MSW ended his post on the America with this: “It is not that she is wrong, it is that she is so contentedly wrong, so confident in her ignorance, so comprehensively prejudiced against the Church. Why doesn’t she just become a Protestant and have done with it? If you heard her rant on the street, you would give her a dollar and hope she doesn’t spend it on booze. Reading her rant in the Times, you can just flip the page.”

Hegel

Hegelian dialectics, "a succession of leaps from one lie to another by way of intermediate falsehoods."

Horses in the MA

If a horse is made to pull something by means of a strap around its neck, it not only does so ineffectively but also risks being exposed to strangulation. However, the weight-pulling effectiveness of the horse can be increased fourfold with a breast harness, a medieval invention, as is the nailed horseshoe and the harnessing of horses in front of one another. Their use for plowing the fields is first depicted on the Bayeux tapestry, more famous for showing Halley's comet.

Lincoln

Lincoln saw it coming, saying of Hooker’s boastful talk: “The hen is is the wisest of birds; she only cackles after she has laid the egg.”

Anglicanism

the initial statements issued by the USCCB and The Episcopal Church are cautious to the point of contentlessness.

Black genocide

Abortion killed at least 203,991 blacks in the 36 states and two cities (New York City and the District of Columbia) that reported abortions by race in 2005, according to the CDC. "

Lawyerese

new refunds — or “enhanced consumer satisfaction guarantee”

Mr. Obama

Suddenly the man who yearns to be the permanent president of the Student Body,

Liberal thinking

Liberal modus operendi:

“Everything I say can be fully substantiated by my own opinion.”

Mother Teresa

"Jesus did not command us to be successful," she replied, "just to be faithful."

Johnson on the Church

[BOSWELL: I had hired a Bohemian as my servant while I remained in London, and being much pleased with him, I asked Dr. Johnson whether his being a Roman Catholick should prevent my taking him with me to Scotland.]
JOHNSON. 'Why no, Sir, if he has no objection, you can have none.'
BOSWELL. 'So, Sir, you are no great enemy to the Roman Catholick religion.'
JOHNSON. 'No more, Sir, than to the Presbyterian religion.'
BOSWELL. 'You are joking.'
JOHNSON. 'No, Sir, I really think so. Nay, Sir, of the two, I prefer the Popish.'
BOSWELL. 'How so, Sir?'
JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, the Presbyterians have no church, no apostolical ordination.
BOSWELL. 'And do you think that absolutely essential, Sir?'
JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, as it was an apostolical institution, I think it is dangerous to be without it. And, Sir, the Presbyterians have no public worship: they have no form of prayer in which they know they are to join. They go to hear a man pray, and are to judge whether they will join with him.'
* * *
BOSWELL. 'What do you think, Sir, of Purgatory, as believed by the Roman Catholicks?'
JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, it is a very harmless doctrine. They are of opinion that the generality of mankind are neither so obstinately wicked as to deserve everlasting punishment, nor so good as to merit being admitted into the society of blessed spirits; and therefore that God is graciously pleased to allow of a middle state, where they may be purified by certain degrees of suffering. You see, Sir, there is nothing unreasonable in this.'
BOSWELL. 'But then, Sir, their masses for the dead?'
JOHNSON. 'Why, Sir, if it be once established that there are souls in purgatory, it is as proper to pray for them, as for our brethren of mankind who are yet in this life.'
BOSWELL. 'The idolatry of the Mass?'
JOHNSON. 'Sir, there is no idolatry in the Mass. They believe God to be there, and they adore him.'
BOSWELL. 'The worship of Saints?'
JOHNSON. 'Sir, they do not worship saints; they invoke them; they only ask their prayers. I am talking all this time of the doctrines of the Church of Rome. I grant you that in practice, Purgatory is made a lucrative imposition, and that the people do become idolatrous as they recommend themselves to the tutelary protection of particular saints. I think their giving the sacrament only in one kind is criminal, because it is contrary to the express institution of Christ, and I wonder how the Council of Trent admitted it.'
BOSWELL. 'Confession?'
JOHNSON. 'Why, I don't know but that is a good thing. The scripture says, "Confess your faults one to another," and the priests confess as well as the laity. Then it must be considered that their absolution is only upon repentance, and often upon penance also. You think your sins may be forgiven without penance, upon repentance alone.'
***
[Dr. Johnson next speaks on death.]
[When we were alone, I introduced the subject of death, and endeavoured to maintain that the fear of it might be got over. I told him that David Hume said to me, he was no more uneasy to think he should not be after this life, than that he had not been before he began to exist.]
JOHNSON. Sir, if he really thinks so, his perceptions are disturbed; he is mad: if he does not think so, he lies. He may tell you, he holds his finger in the flame of a candle, without feeling pain; would you believe him? When he dies, he at least gives up all he has.'
BOSWELL. 'Foote, Sir, told me, that when he was very ill he was not afraid to die.'
JOHNSON. 'It is not true, Sir. Hold a pistol to Foote's breast, or to Hume's breast, and threaten to kill them, and you'll see how they behave.'
BOSWELL. 'But may we not fortify our minds for the approach of death?' ***
JOHNSON. 'No, Sir, let it alone. It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time.' He added, (with an earnest look,) 'A man knows it must be so, and submits. It will do him no good to whine.'
I attempted to continue the conversation. He was so provoked, that he said, 'Give us no more of this;' and was thrown into such a state of agitation, that he expressed himself in a way that alarmed and distressed me; shewed an impatience that I should leave him, and when I was going away, called to me sternly, 'Don't let us meet tomorrow.'
I went home exceedingly uneasy. All the harsh observations which I had ever heard made upon his character, crowded into my mind; and I seemed to myself like the man who had put his head into the lion's mouth a great many times with perfect safety, but at last had it bit off.”
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Savings bonds

"Money from savings bonds was used to run the daily operating expenses of the government," said Joyce Harris, with the Bureau of the Public Debt.

Committee

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Mr. Obama

Why does President Pantywaist hate America so badly?

The new clergy

Many young practicing Catholics feel called to right the wrongs created by Father Flash and Sister Sunshine